When inspiration hits.... its almost impossible to focus on anything else. and right now, I'm just bursting with ideas. its insane. I'd better start sketching before I forget anything. The good thing is, I have three months to do everything!

wishlist?

well... I didn't really want to put this up, because so many of these wishes are for things I need but can't really buy... but well, here it is, because Ting wants to see it. and its a long one too.

1. To rebuild that which was lost on 19-10-2008, since I can't turn back time or pretend it never happened.
2. Hair straightener. (and don't say my hair is straight cos it keeps flicking out in weird directions unless its ironed)
3. Get into year 3
4. Wuthering Heights
5. Piano scores. Josh Groban is good – the Awake album, and Remember (from Troy). Hayley Westenra too.
6. A belt. just a plain black one... the elastic sort, preferably adjustable, about 1 inch wide. heh... I have no idea how to describe it better.
7. To know if its you, or alcohol making you act that way. That was no random impulse for me.
8. Ideas! Decorations for a French-Moulin Rouge-cabaret themed dinner... ideas for food and drinks... ideas for the programme... music... ambience... door gifts...
9. Travel!! I wanna go to Geraldton.. Kalbarri... Monkey Mia... Margaret River... Bunbury... Dunsborough... Albany... its annoying how I haven't been out of Perth since arriving in WA.
10. To find a dance partner like Patrick Swayze in Dirty Dancing... if not the technique, then the chemistry and the joy of dancing... or, well, the movie works too.
11. To know what it all means to you and how far you want to take this. Don't leave me hanging on, I want to go forward.
12. Tickets to Phantom of the Opera when it shows in Perth.
13. The words to say.
14. Courage, strength and some self defence. To stay open and honest and me.
15. Music. Lots of new music to listen to and learn.
16. Mineral-based cosmetics
17. To fulfill all my duties as International Rep and do a good job about it
18. And get through year 3 and all the way through my degree to be a competent and respected doctor while I'm at it.
19. Get my license!!!!!!!!! eek.
20. More beads, more wire, more inspiration. Make pretty things!
21. To get rid of all the annoying skin problems that pop up randomly.

Well. Can't be too greedy, can we? I shall just stop here... 21 seems like a good number, hmm? Now don't say you can't find my wishlist!

finding out clarity comes in drips and drabs

how much of that was honest emotion? Was it you or the alcohol speaking? I really don't know anymore... and its happened more than once. How much do you remember?



you never call me when you're sober.

Each memory a song that never seems to end

You taught me to live for the moment. To find joy in the simplest things. To savour each occasion, however insignificant, and hold it in my heart.

(The river in the sunset, the road under the full moon.
Step. Spin. Dip. I've got you on my mind.)

To chill out. To confide and find healing. To try something new.

(Wild. Different.)

Trust breaks into shards of terror. Shards that pierce a heart lain bare by honesty. Confusion. Disappointment. Regret.

Restraint. Interpretation. Alter ego. But I remember, and I know I can't be wrong.

(Every time.)

Words in your voice that haunt the emptiness. Tears. Prayers. There's nothing left but to believe.

(No more words.
Life goes on.)

Those were your lessons. This is a test. I won't take failure for an answer.

forgiveness comes first from within. How is it possible to accept forgiveness from another if you don't believe you deserve it yet? How is it possible to forgive another if you can't forgive yourself?

I'm waiting for a reason. I believe it will happen. We'll know when its time.

Perth royal show.... well, just the last bit

So after about a week of listening to fireworks and grumbling about not being able to see them from Tommy More, I finally got the chance to go over to Claremont to see the firework display finale.

Those fireworks almost made me cry. Words can't possibly describe how breathtaking they were right above our heads, or how they spiralled up, up, up to trace intricate patterns in the Perth night sky.

Next year... I hope I'll actually have time to spend a whole day at the Royal Show.

Protège-moi

Ave Maria, veille sur mes jours et sur mes nuits, sur mon amour et ma vie.

Tonight I learnt that you can hear me. Its too soon for another injury, I'm so grateful that someone's watching over me.

Tonight I learnt.... that its not my turn yet, however close I might have been. Help me forget that feeling, it's not yet time. And even though it's disappointing to know I'll have to wait some more, I'm glad I found out now rather than later. And I pray that one day I won't have to wait anymore.

Help me be stronger tomorrow, and every day after that.

That was a lot to ask... but could I make one more request?