truth

I've said time and again, it's what I wanted, and I have no regrets. So why do I still feel so messed up? Why do I still react so strongly to you? And the truth came out from the long talk with Bon last night.

I remember telling you this before:
I'll miss you if you go.

Mi mancherai, se te ne vai

Last night I took a good look inside myself, and I know it to be true.

Mi guardo e trovo un vuoto dentro me
Quando mi guardo intorno E sento che mi manchi

I've missed you from the moment you got on that plane. Perhaps you didn't know it, but you had an extra item in your luggage that day... because some of my happiness went with you.

E l'allegria, amica mia, va via con te

Last night I admitted to myself, I miss you, I miss what we had.

Mi manchi

It hits me at random times: when I see a sunset that you'd love to take a picture of, when I see happy loving couples, when I pick up a pink top (one of them, though I have many). When it turns cold and I know you'd love it. Certain songs, even lights... When I come across something extremely nerdy, when I'm stressed and tell myself to let go and relax a while.

Quando il sole da la mano all'orizzonte...

Let go? You're making it awfully hard for me to do that.

Nei tuoi sguardi
E in quell sorriso un pò incosciente
Nelle scuse di quei tuoi probabilmente
Sei quell nodo in gola che non scende giù
E tu e tu

Sometimes I wish I could just call you again, that we could have those talks that go on until 3am. Little things like that... and I guess... I'm just living in the shadow of what was.

Come l'ombra di qualcosa ancora mia.

I can pretend to be okay, but I miss you.

Posso far finta di star bene ma mi manchi

Soon I won't have to pretend. One day, I'll be okay. Mi manchi, I miss what we had, but I won't go back. Because we haven't had any of that for a long time, we didn't just lose it. I'm not turning back, I'm not coming back. We've all got to move on somehow.

I could find someone else, but that would be wrong, that would be cheating. Cheating myself, cheating him, cheating you.

Mi manchi e potrei
Cercarmi un'altra donna ma m'ingannerei

I'm not going to look back. It's taken me long enough to come to this decision, and I know it's what I want, that I'll have no regrets.

I don't hate you. I still care, I'll still be your friend. But nothing more